The Perfect Joke

Great one liners from Tommy Cooper.
‘So I rang up a local building firm, I said ‘I want a skip outside my house.’ He said ‘ I’m not stopping you.’
Went to the paper shop - it had blown away

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?”

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Bill was the manager of a big corporation’s office in the financial district. 
One day the president called him into his office. He told Bill that due to the recent downturn in the markets the company would have to make some cutbacks and either Jack or Susan would have to be laid off.