“What the fuck is all that noise?” my wife yelled at me from our bedroom, when I came home from my mates birthday party.
I staggered a bit further and shouted back: “I’m trying to get two cases of beer and a bottle of whiskey up the stairs you miserable cow.”

“Well, leave them until morning, you stupid idiot! You are so late it’ll be getting light soon!”, she yelled.
“I can’t,”‘ I slurred back, “I’ve already drunk them!”