Posts filed under “Relationship Jokes”

Noisy Drunk

“What the fuck is all that noise?” my wife yelled at me from our bedroom, when I came home from my mates birthday party.

The Secretary’s Cover Up

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off to her house where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex,

Going Commando?

A girl came up to me in a bar – she was wearing a short skirt, had beautiful breasts like ripe fruit and was drinking an exotic cocktail.  “What would you say if I told you I was wearing no underwear?” she

No Time For A Haircut!

A guy sticks his head round the door of the barbershop and asks, ‘How long before I can get a haircut? The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, ‘About 2 hours’, ‘OK’ said the guy and left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head round the door

Mystery Valentine

Bill walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged standing at the counter enthusiastically writing addresses on bright pink envelopes covered with hearts. He then takes out a scent bottle and starts spraying perfume over them. Bill’s curiosity gets the better of him and he walks over to the man and asks […]

Prayers Can Come True

One evening as Jack passed little Tommy’s bedroom he overheard his son praying, “God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, and God bless Grandma. Bye bye Grandpa.” The Dad wasn’t quite sure what Tommy meant by this, but was pleased to see his son praying.

How To Surprise A Man

Three girl friends have met up for their weekly meal together and are discussing their relationships. One of them is engaged, one is a mistress and the other is married.

Cheating Wives

Paddy and his two friends, Bill and Simon, are talking at a bar. Bill says: “I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician.”

The Late Night Caller

A man is in bed with his wife when there’s a knock, knock on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock. It’s half past three in the morning. I will happily ignore that he thinks, and tries to go back to sleep. However, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer […]