Posts by Funny Guy, Author at The Perfect Joke - Page 2 of 5
Going Commando?
A girl came up to me in a bar – she was wearing a short skirt, had beautiful breasts like ripe fruit and was drinking an exotic cocktail. Â “What would you say if I told you I was wearing no underwear?” she
No Time For A Haircut!
A guy sticks his head round the door of the barbershop and asks, ‘How long before I can get a haircut? The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, ‘About 2 hours’, ‘OK’ said the guy and left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head round the door
Viz Top Tips
To celebrate the 30th anniversary of Viz Comic we are publishing the first part of our Viz Top Tips.
The Blonde Mortician
A man who just died is taken to the local mortuary. He is wearing an very expensive and high quality tailored blue suit.
Mystery Valentine
Bill walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged standing at the counter enthusiastically writing addresses on bright pink envelopes covered with hearts. He then takes out a scent bottle and starts spraying perfume over them. Bill’s curiosity gets the better of him and he walks over to the man and asks […]
The Sand Deliverer
Jose approaches the Mexican border on his bicycle. Hanging from his shoulders he has two large, bulky bags. The border patrol guard stops him and says, “Hey mister what ya got in those bags?” “Just sand,” replied Jose.
Goodbye Mother!
Young Simon was walking around his local supermarket picking up a few items for his evening meal when he noticed an old lady was following him. He tried to ignore her but every direction he went she followed.Â
Fare revenge?
Bill catches a taxi home one evening and the cabbie charges him almost double the usual fare and when Bill complains he becomes abusive. Bill resolves to get his revenge if he comes across this taxi driver again.
Jesus and the thief
A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: “Jesus is watching you.”
Prayers Can Come True
One evening as Jack passed little Tommy’s bedroom he overheard his son praying, “God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, and God bless Grandma. Bye bye Grandpa.” The Dad wasn’t quite sure what Tommy meant by this, but was pleased to see his son praying.